It’s time to at least take the first step and write a statement of conscience. I just can't seem to reconcile the fear of losing property (my home) over the fear of losing my conscience, which seems unconscionable. I believe any war is wrong, yet I feel blocked from taking concrete action. Everything in me cries out that it's my soul that I must not lose. I have not yet found a way forward. Can I still write a statement of conscience while in the midst of the internal debate?
Yes, it is good that you write a statement. Guidelines for writing your statement can be found at here.
The first step is recognizing and articulating the truth that is working within and documenting that in a statement of conscience, seek three to five letters testifying to your sincerity and collect a few supporting documents.
The next step is joining the movement of conscience, sharing that truth with your spiritual companions, your meeting or church, your communities and your representatives and asking for support in discerning how that truth is working within and what are the implications of that truth so that others accompany you on this path. If you send it to COFiles@consciencestudio.com I will keep it here and inform you as items of interest come up.
If you wish, schedule an appointment to hand deliver your file to your representatives explaining your faith, that you would like them to keep this on file so that when we have secured an accommodation from our government for our faith they can testify for you that this is a long-standing belief.
Another step you may wish to take would be to join the NYYM movement for conscientious objection to military taxation by sending your name to Jens Braun and Daniel Jenkins: email@example.com & firstname.lastname@example.org Then you will hear news of any opportunities to join legal actions or you can submit your own case for a legal action to be considered by the attorneys who have volunteered to support this effort.
Following the steps of discernment in community you may find a type of liberty and peace that only comes from living in accord with your conscience. You may also find that there is unearned suffering, but if you are prepared in the Spirit this yoke becomes easy.